![]() In February of this year, I was given a difficult writing assignment. It wasn’t that I knew nothing about the topic; rather, it was that I knew too much about it. I was tasked with writing my grandmother’s obituary. It was in the process of writing it that I realized not only is an obituary a sacred document, it’s also a surprisingly difficult thing to put together. A writing prompt in high school or college is challenging enough. We are given something like, In 600 words, tell about a moment that changed your life. Or, Write 1,000 words on why you are most qualified for an internship with our organization. It’s altogether different and far more solemn when the prompt is: In 500 words or less, write a biographical sketch of a 90-year-old woman whose life touched all who knew her. Make sure to include not only her work history and hobbies, but also the principles that guided her life, the love she showered on her grandkids, and the memorable aroma of her house after she baked chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and don’t forget to make it clear and concise, while capturing the essence of who this lady was, what made her tick, and what she lived for. And can you have it to us by 3 p.m.? That’s a tall order. It’s also a necessary one. Although incredibly brief — relative to a human lifespan — an obituary is, literarily speaking, a capstone to a person’s earthly life. While family members and close friends will undoubtedly remember their loved ones in innumerable, intimate ways, an obituary, in most cases, is a person’s last public testament to their temporal life and labors. It is a reminder to the community-at-large that this person lived and made their mark, no matter how grand or humble that mark may have been. What a shame, then, it is to read the obituary that simply reads: John Smith was born in 1942. He died on Sunday. Cremation has taken place. While I realize that some folks are very private, in my opinion, Mr. Smith and those who knew him deserve more than that kind of a tribute. He was a man made in the image of God, a man who was loved. He made a living. His life touched others in various ways. He had a personality. People remember him. Surely that life is worth putting down in print. Poet Linda Ellis in her oft-used poem “The Dash” writes: “I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning...to the end. He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years. “For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.” The obituary is an opportunity to say, “This is what Mr. Smith did with his dash. This is who Mr. Smith was.” While Socrates may have been right when he said that “the unexamined life is not worth living,” I also think it axiomatic that the well-lived life is a story worth telling and telling well. In journalism school, we are taught that everything is a potential story, because everyone, no matter their station in life, has a story to tell. An obituarist, then, ought to strive, as feeble as their attempt may seem, to write well the story the person left behind. Yes, tell us when they were born and when they died. Tell us to whom they were related. Let us know where we can send flowers or a gift in their memory. But don’t stop there. Who was this person, really? Tell the truth. Did they have struggles in their life? If so, how did they handle them? We know where they worked; but did they enjoy the work they did? Who did they love? How did they demonstrate their love to those people? Who loved them? The person charged with writing another’s obituary ought to approach their task with some sense of trepidation — I know I did. After all, they have the job of reducing a lifetime into just one, maybe two column inches. Being made in the image of God, I think, requires not only leading a life well-lived, but after life on Earth is over, to have a life well written.
1 Comment
Dawn D Giehl
11/13/2020 12:18:17 pm
You surely are a gifted writer, Ty! I would be honored to have you write my obituary as I am certain your family was honored for you to write your grandmother's obituary! Keep writing for His Glory!
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AuthorTy Perry is a writer based in metro-Detroit. Archives
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